nanke's stuff

I had a wonderful birthday, thanks in part to all of you who so kindly and generously sent me your helpful and supportive remarks.  You are just the best!  When my sweetie and I got home from having a wonderful dinner at The Common Grill in Chelsea (Michigan, that is), we sat on the porch and I made good on my vow to do something arty.  It had cooled off considerably so it was very pleasant outside.  I got out a watercolor block, pencil, and my trusty, old, watercolors in the tin.   I made a start .... I did a bit of a drawing of a few things on the porch, and did a bit of painting.  It's not complete (and may never be), but the thing is, I did it!  I'm trying not to be unduly critical of it (but the truth is, I can't quiet that voice completely), and  it's about as simple as it can be, but maybe I'll sit on the porch again tonite and have another go at it .... or not! 

So, thank you again, to all you special people! 



P.S., it's called, Warts and All

I haven't posted anything for a very long time - almost a month.  After being ill, I found myself blocked.  First, a bit of personal history.  Some of you know that I am a registered nurse, although I have been retired now for some time.  I retired quite early.  Anyhow, I spent most of my nursing career in administration at a major hospital in Ann Arbor.  2 years before I retired, I decided I wanted to go back to clinical nursing, and after having been away from it for about 15 years, I decided to take a job in the ER.  Before I actually started there, I hit the books on my own.  There was so much to learn - how to read the monitors, I had to get certified in  advanced cardiac life support - well, you get the idea.  I finally started actually working there, and I have to tell you, I was scared shitless every time I went to work.  It  was a 35 minute drive, and all the way there I was talking to myself, asking myself what in the heck was I doing - was I totally insane?  By the time I got there I had so much adrenalin in my system that every cell in my body was on full alert.  I felt like a fraud.  I was certain that at any moment someone would discover that I had no idea what I was doing.  But here's the thing .... I was good at it ..... I really did know what I was doing, I just didn't believe that I did.  The manager came to me one day and wanted me to be a preceptor to a new nurse in the department!   She also wanted me to train to be a charge nurse.   I was stunned.

So, fast forward to now.  In many ways I feel exactly the same about  my ability to make art as I did about practicing nursing in the ER.  I feel like I don't know how to do it .... any minute now I will be unveiled as a wannabe with absolutely no talent.  Sometimes I feel like there's an elephant standing on top of me.  I know, it's crazy.  I mean, who cares what I do?  What difference does it make?  I can only think that my inner critic has grown to monstrous proportions.  So what to do?

Tomorrow is my birthday - I can't believe it, but I'm going to be 65!!! (which has nothing to do with any of this).  I'm giving myself a present.  I'm going to draw or paint something, and no matter what it looks like, I'm going to post it.  It may not actually get posted until Saturday, but I'm doing it tomorrow.  I don't care what it turns out like, I'm posting it, warts and all.

I'm sorry for the length of this post.  I like to keep them short because I know many of you check out many blogs and long ones take too much time.  But there you are - the next one will be short, I promise.

Oh yeah,  the "blocked" thing was done the last time I was blocked, it's not new.

I've been a tad under the weather for over a week now, and it's been impossible for me to do any art because of it.  I had a medical procedure last Monday, then got bronchitis on Thursday (I like to cluster my ailments - it gets them out of the way faster).    I have a few more antibiotics to take and I'm much better now, but I'm waaaay behind in lots of things, not the least of which is making/playing with art.  I'm not quite finished with the Rubens drawing, but I just haven't had the wherewithal to keep an appointment with her.  Also, I'm so far behind in my email that I think I'm just going to have to start over.  I hate missing all the wonderful posts to people's blogs (I've been doing my best to visit them and leave comments, but I'm drowning!), so I think the best thing to do is start fresh and just accept the reality of my current situation. 

I've been feeling really guilty about not posting anything on my blog, and as I'm sure all of you know, feeling guilty sucks (to put it less than delicately, but then, guilt isn't a very delicate emotion, is it?).  So, since I don't have anything current to show you, I thought I'd post a picture of some inchies I did a while back for an inchie swap.  I like making inchies - it's fun to have such a small canvas to work on.  I'm thinking of making more with an eye to incorporating them into a larger piece .... a sort of inchie assembly.  So, anyhow, these are the ones I made that I rejected for the swap and so kept them.  I put them in my art journal

OK, so she's proving herself to be a worthy adversary.  I've been working and reworking her face and I just can't seem to get it right.  Of course, part of the problem is what I mentioned in her first (very faint) appearance, which is that right out of the gate I had the angle of her head wrong.  But, since I decided to forge ahead anyway, the problem only magnified itself as I drew.  I had the eyes at the wrong slant and the line of her right side (the one on our left) is wrong.  Howsomever (I know, not a real word, but it seem to fit the bill), I valiantly (or stubbornly, which is more to the point) struggled on with her until I just had to stop..... which is not to say that during this process I didn't walk away from her a number of times, giving each of us a much needed time out.  I turned her upside down and sideways, trying to get a better feel for the lines, and the acrobatics did help.  She, however, didn't agree and complained bitterly.  So in the end, I told her we were through for the day, leading to a giant sigh of relief from us both.

Today one of my daughters is running her first half marathon in Nashville.  She's been training faithfully for it, and I'd love to be there with her other cheerleaders to lend my support and encouragement.  I'm waiting to hear from my son to see how well she did - I just hope it's not really hot down there right now!  Tonight my other daughter is skating in her final roller derby bout of the season ... Yes, she's a Detroit Derby Girl, and she's amazing!  Last year her team won the championship of the league - alas, not so this year, but they did great!  I'm so impressed with my two wonderful girls who married my two wonderful sons.  How did I get to be so fortunate, anyway? 

I between many other things, I did manage to spend a bit of time with Ms Fourment, although not as much as I'd hoped.   She  I am having much difficulty with her, but then I always do when I try to copy these drawings.   I'm using a softer pencil now, so it shows up better than version 1.  I like to start out with hard pencils because I'm such a chicken - it takes me awhile to get plucky enough to go for the softer, darker pencils.  I'm not at the softest I'll use yet, but I'm getting there.  So, without further adieu, here she is!


 

Meet Susanne Fourment (sister of Helene Fourment (1599 - 1643).   Now you know as much about her as I do.  I plan on trying to find out a bit more about her, but for now, she's serving as the reference for my most recent attempt at copying drawings of the Masters.  As you can see, I've only just begun, after several days of busyness and being away from home. 

I can already see that this drawing is off - her head is too straight.  I haven't decided yet if it's so early in the game that I might just scrap this one and start over.  Or, I may continue, knowing that it is flawed, and then attempt it again another time.  So, anyway, here's the original, followed by my beginning (as if you couldn't tell which was which!). 

Today was a wonderful day.  The weather was beautiful ... windy, warm but not hot, sunny, and filled with two dear friends.  Kathy and Jennifer have been my friends since our children were very little - babies, in fact.  But, as sometimes happens in life, our paths diverged, one by one we moved away, our children were in different grades (and sometimes in different schools), and we lost touch for many years.  We all still lived in the area, but our paths rarely crossed.  Then about a year ago, when I started volunteering at our county health department, Jennifer and I reconnected.  She's worked there for a long time, and now I get to see her once a week ...  lucky me!  So we hooked up with Kathy again through a planned lunch, and now the three of us get together  every couple of months for lunch.  We'd do it more often, but there's schedule conflicts.  Today they came to my house and we had lunch.  We talked - there were tears and laughter, and best of all, there was the love shared between friends.  I'm so grateful that we have each other again.

Now, what does all that have to do with Albert Einstein, you might ask.  The answer is Nothing!!  It's just that I got to thinking about him after working on a bulletin board at the health department, and decided to draw him.  He continues to be a very stubborn man, even as he was in real life, so what I'm thinking is that this may not  actually  be Albert at all, but rather his little known brother, Alfred.